you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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