using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
