Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
A+ Viking dick
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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