my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
