the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
