It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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