I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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