Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm really into asian looking animals
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize