Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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