She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
