i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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