I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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