Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
