And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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