I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize