I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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