Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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