Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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