I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
