how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
