My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
