Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
