Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
