and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
