Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
