So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
