mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize