Where did you get a picture of my penis
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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