strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
