and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We left an ass print on the piano.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
