Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize