I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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