I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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