Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
