just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Mom said you looked used
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
