Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
