I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
this hospital has no fireball
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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