I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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