Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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