once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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