I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
