He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
