You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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