The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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