He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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