I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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