fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
