I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
