so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
