i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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