playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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