why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
