smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
