you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
