did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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