Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
