Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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