i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she looked like the before picture.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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