Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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