Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
