i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize