what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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