Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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