i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
