I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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