My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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