If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
