So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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